You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
