Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
