It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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