Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
