put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
