Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
