false alarm. still invincible.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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