if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
