i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Just puked most of my soul out..
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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