i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize
