At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
