Where are you?
In a non slutty way
If that was your dad, he is hot
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
