I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
