Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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