You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
