Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
