did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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