its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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