On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
