Porn is love you can see.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
