he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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