She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
operation harelip BJ is a go
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
