My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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