I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
