Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
