the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
