there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
