Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
