I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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