Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
