is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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