Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
