This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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