So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
