Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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