I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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