Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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