Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
