Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
