Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
