We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
