when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
