Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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