who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
