ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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