3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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