oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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