I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
