She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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