Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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